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70 essays on the parts of dating that feel hardest: the first message, the first ten minutes, and the silence in between.
What to wear on a first date
The best outfit is the one you stop thinking about the moment you leave the house.
How to say no kindly
Most people are not cruel in dating. They're just conflict-averse, which produces almost identical damage.
How to end a date well
Most dates don't go badly. They just end badly — vaguely, apologetically, at the wrong moment.
Emoji, punctuation and the tone problem
The same six words can read as flirty, bored or furious depending on a single character at the end.
Meeting someone from an app safely
None of this is about expecting the worst. It's the same logic as locking your door: cheap, quick, and worth doing.
Love bombing or just enthusiasm?
Not every fast-moving person is dangerous, and not every red-flag list is right. The difference is in what happens when you slow down.
The confidence of having a life
The most attractive quality is not confidence exactly. It's having somewhere else to be.
How to cancel without killing it
Cancelling isn't the problem. Cancelling without offering anything in its place is.
Flirting over text vs in person
Plenty of people are magnetic by message and stiff in a bar. Plenty are the reverse. Both are normal.
How to leave a conversation well
Most people stay until a conversation dies, then leave feeling flat. Go one beat earlier and they'll remember you.
Teasing that lands (and teasing that doesn't)
Good teasing says: I've noticed you and I'm comfortable enough to play. Bad teasing says: I've noticed your weak spot.
When to make a move
The best move is never a surprise. It's the last step in a sequence you've both been able to see coming.
Flirting with someone you'll see again tomorrow
When you can't simply never see them again, the goal changes: make the no cost nothing.
Getting off the app and into a room
A match has a half-life. Every day you spend in the app chat, the odds of ever meeting drop.
Before you send that photo
No moralising here — just the things worth knowing before you press send, and the one rule that matters most.
Texting someone you met in real life
You already have the thing apps spend weeks building: a shared moment. Use it in the first line.
Drinking on a first date
Two drinks makes you charming. Four makes you think you were charming, which is a different thing entirely.
When a date goes wrong
Not every date is salvageable, and you are allowed to stop attending an evening that isn't working.